choose self-kindness over self-criticism
“The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.” ~ C. Joybell C.
If only you could see how awesome you are. If only you could know that other people really love you and internalize that love for yourself. But I know that you are hard on yourself. I know that you believe that if you are critical and have high expectations of yourself, you will fix yourself or be “better.” There might have been a time in your life where it seemed to have helped you – that being willful and demanding of yourself is how you “got successful” or “got through law school.” But I wonder…at what cost? Maybe trying to fix ourselves is the PROBLEM. Perhaps when we drive ourselves hard, we exchange happiness and inner peace for anxiety and pressure. Someday I am going to convince you that you have always been awesome* and there is nothing to fix. *Warning: For those who are non-religious, this is a GodTube video and has references to God but it carries an amazing message for you!
INSPIRATION IN ACTION: Pay attention to how you talk to yourself and try to replace it with kinder words
gratitude as a path to connection
“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.” ~ Zig Ziglar
Staying connected and intimate in a long term marriage with kids can be…let’s just say, difficult. Believe me, it’s been a source of a tremendous amount of challenge in my life. Let’s start with some baby steps. Are you willing to try one thing this week? It requires two steps. First, just think of one thing per day that you are grateful for about your partner. Second, thank him/her. Give it a shot. And then, come back to the website and tell us how it went in the comments. Did anything change? How did it feel? I’ll bet there is some resentment that has built up between the two of you so you might feel a little resistance to expressing gratitude. If so, read this first. Take it from me, stubbornly holding onto resentment will never get you what you want. The only way to have the relationship you want is to create it with loving action and forgiveness. “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” ~Malachy McCourt
INSPIRATION IN ACTION: Practice gratitude towards your partner
technology+kids – the good, the bad, & the sexy
“Social media has given us this idea that we should all have a posse of friends when in reality, if we have one or two really good friends, we are lucky.” ~ Brene Brown
[For parents of older kids] My oldest son is 12 and I am noticing him keeping his phone right by his side, trying to look at it during mealtime, and sometimes choosing to engage with his phone over me! Say what? 😉 But it’s not all bad news. How about the possibility that there is an unexpected upside to sexting? I’m as shocked as you, but it seems that it’s easier to discuss touchy sexual subjects while texting than in person. “The researchers found that teens who text about condoms were four times more likely to actually use protection when compared to teens didn’t text about condoms with their partners. They also found that the odds of practicing safer sex doubled among teens who regularly texted not only about condoms and pregnancy prevention but also about sexual limits.”
INSPIRATION IN ACTION: Consider what your house rules are for phones and other devices. Do they need to be updated to be more strict or to lighten up?
(next week we will give a sample of some phone rules for tweens and younger teens)
New on the Blog this Week: What Having Twins, a New Career, a New Business and a Life Taught Me About Balance
Hope you are feeling thorough inspired and with aspirations! Thank you for reading.
Did you love it? You have no idea how thrilled I would be if you were willing to share this with your peeps.
Chief Curator & Blogger