When you look around – in your home or around you – what do you see? I see a lot of anxious kids. I see parents who are worried, really busy and stressed. I’ll bet you’d agree that you thought parenting was going to be easier than it is…yea?
What if I told you that there is another way to do this parenting thing?
I’m not much of a guru kinda gal. In fact, I love the Gee, You Are You (GURU) way of looking at the word Guru – knowing that my internal wisdom is my guru…I am my own guru.
But if I WERE to have a guru for parenting, it would be Dr. Shefali Tsabary, author of the Conscious Parent, Out of Control and her most recent book The Awakened Family.
And I am beyond excited that we’re bringing her here…to MY town (just north of San Francisco)…tomorrow night to speak to our community. We have 400 people registered and still have a wait list. I’ve been responsible for parent education at our schools for many years and I’ve never seen anything like this – we sold out in 3 days…345 tickets and then had to open up more spots to accommodate the huge numbers of people who wanted to come!
I call it magic. And last night she spoke in Chicago and 575 parents came to hear her speak…after school was out and summer vacation had already started.
Why is she drawing such a big crowd?
Because the world is ready for this new message of conscious parenting – parents are ready to find a sustainable way to create the families we all deeply desire to have – connected, cooperative, loving, and respectful.
Parents are sick of the pressure, the anxiety…parents are sick of worrying about their kids and the world we live in.
Parents want to know how to raise kids who are less anxious, thriving, fulfilled, and empowered.
Dr. Shefali’s message is provocative (dare I say revolutionary) but things are shifting and parents are ready for a change.
Wanna know more?
Here are 5 conscious parenting guiding principles:
- The parent recognizes that their child is his/her own (worthy, amazing, beautiful) person – with his/her own dreams, perceptions, temperaments, journey, challenges, gifts, opinions, etc. A conscious parent does their very best to allow them to become their true and most authentic selves (rather than shaping them into someone the parent believes to be best). A conscious parent trusts in a child’s inherent wisdom (which means we must learn to listen to and trust OUR inner wisdom).
- The parent accepts the “as-is” of life. Instead of seeking to change our kids or other things in our environment to make us feel comfortable, we become mindful of our own reactions and judgments. A conscious parent uses these triggers, judgments, criticisms, and fears as opportunities to turn inward and examine their limiting beliefs, perceptions, “shoulds”, and fears and learns to heal themselves and become conscious of their own agenda. Deep self-awareness is a cornerstone to conscious parenting.
- The parent prioritizes the relationship first – ensuring that their children feel seen, heard, and understood. We all learn and grow in relationships and a conscious parent learns how to regulate their emotions so as to be able to relate to their children with respect, empathy, and maturity. A conscious parent is mindful that the choices that he/she makes are in support of maintaining a close connection. And ultimately connection is the foundation for cooperation.
- The parent sets limits from a place of self-awareness and always in the best interest of the child’s and of the parent’s highest self. Most parents use rewards, punishments, and other forms of discipline to control their kids’ behaviors. A conscious parent always seeks to understand the needs and feelings behind behaviors first. And if boundaries and limits need to be set, they are done with compassion, clarity, and calmness. A conscious parent is aware of the tendency to set boundaries that serve our ego and help us to feel less anxious – and they resist the temptation to parent from that place.
- At the very core, parenting is an opportunity for the conscious parent to turn inward, to grow ourselves up, to become our truest expression of ourselves, to be the people we want our children to be so our kids have role models, to trust ourselves and to become mindful and compassionate in our relationships. Conscious parenting is the pathway to create the relationship we all want with our kids and for our kids to grow into their most awesome selves.
I know some of this sounds counter-intuitive, pushes up against all you have been taught about parenting, right? Perhaps you worry it wouldn’t work.
But I ask you – is what you’re doing right now working for you? Is everyone thriving in your family? If not, I would HIGHLY encourage you to grab her book!
I’m totally serious when I tell you that, ever since we started parenting consciously, my family (with a tween and teen) is thriving in ways that blow my mind every day.