A big question I hear, especially from working moms, is how do I juggle everything? How do I keep my house clean, run my business/work all day, walk the dogs, take care of my kids and cart them to all of their activities, cook healthy meals, stay close to my partner, and find time for myself? With that, I asked some coaches to give us their insights and tips. Can we ever really attain “balance?”
Vikki Spencer from www.themomwhisperer.com
It’s not static. We all want balance to be the still point as the drop hits the water and the ripples are perfect, but it’s not like that.The one thing in the world that can hold objects in perfect suspension is the Dead Sea – but nothing lives there. In real life, everything that is alive is moving. So, balance is like a see-saw, or being on a surfboard – where there is movement back and forth. So, a micro strategy is for every big “have-to” put in place a “want to”.
- Have to: keep my children alive (food, clothing, shelter) | Want to: choose healthy food so I stay sane.
- Have to: work | Want to: build my business.
- Have to: have a busy day | Want to: go to bed by 9pm to honor my limits.
I find that when we really understand that this is a back and forth and choose our days (instead of feeling like our days happen), we begin to feel empowered to define our own balance.
Jo Ebisujima from www.my-organized-chaos.com
I don’t believe in the whole balance thing! I think life comes more in cycles and at any one time you are in a cycle that may mean you’re being pulled more in the role of mama or more towards work etc. Accepting that you will never reach a perfect balance will give you more peace of mind. Accept that sometimes you are needed more as mama then as a wife or sometimes more as a wife then a cleaner.
Release the jobs that are not really important.
Dawn Gibson, LCSW from www.dawnkgibson.com
I don’t believe in balance either, rather I practice recalibration. This means looking at the different parts of my life that are important to me and checking in to see where I’ve been placing “too” much attention, as well as not enough attention.
Some tools I have for this is creating a morning self-care ritual for myself that helps to calm my mind, ease worry, and get me into my body and out of my head:
- Sit with both feet on the floor, tune into my body, and BREATHE deeply
- Dance, go for a walk, or do Qoya
- Most importantly–enter the nothing box at least once per week (daily if you choose to create time for this). This means completely unplugging from EVERYTHING for at least 30 minutes once per week (no phone, TV, reading, NOTHING) to the point of boredom in order to reset your nervous system.
Proceed with your day by:
- Focusing on the present moment, rather than the 100 things you “need” to do.
- Be flexible. Allow yourself to go with the flow and release the things that don’t HAVE to be done.
- Hire someone to help or delegate the things you do not enjoy doing if possible
Is there one thing that resonates with you that you want to try to focus on this week? Post in the comments below!
And, if you think another mom could benefit from this, please share!